and when i say "adultish", i mean it in the same negative way we regard being "childish". i wish we never have grown up with this, but i guess, adulthood brings with it some forms of moral recession...
when my nephews and nieces quarrel, though it happens always and can really wear down the person tasked to watch over them, they are easy to reconcile. i easily know who are fighting, why they are fighting and what's the degree of their fight is. why? because they speak their hearts out, they focus in the current situation, they recognize the 'reconciling' authority, and it is finished when it is finished.
that's how different some adults are, and here is where i think we must emulate these little ones.
they speak their hearts out. kids would say what's on their mind, which is oftentimes out of
line. and what i hope adulthood would achieve, is for this talk to be seasoned with maturity and civility. but oftentimes "adultishness" swallows us. we do not speak, we engage in psych-war, and worse, we masquerade our true emotions with poisonous friendliness which is just waiting to explode. i do not know what prompted us to become afraid of expressing ourselves. but this has oftentimes led to unnecessary strains in relationships.
they focus in the current situation. they say when people become hysterical, they usually become historical. true. adults seldom fight compared to kids, but when we do, we're sure to open a can of worms! some are related, but more often than not, it just makes the situation worse!
they recognize the 'reconciling' authority. even if kids go out of hand in their expression of anger, kids usually quiet down when the authority is mediating them already. we adults usually lose this perspective of authority, usually jaded, and we even question the impartiality. that's how "adultish" we are.
it is finished when it is finished. when it is my turn to end the quarrel talk with our kids, i am amazed at how they instantly pick up from where they left off before the fight. i admire that. unfortunately, experience has somehow eroded that ability, which gives birth to the dangerous 'vengeance'-- either in small ways or big ways.
i've dealt with so many of these adultishness, both mine and others. i've been in the midst of these misunderstandings too. and i can't stop myself sometimes from saying "how adultish!" oh, how we love to complicate things...
when my nephews and nieces quarrel, though it happens always and can really wear down the person tasked to watch over them, they are easy to reconcile. i easily know who are fighting, why they are fighting and what's the degree of their fight is. why? because they speak their hearts out, they focus in the current situation, they recognize the 'reconciling' authority, and it is finished when it is finished.
that's how different some adults are, and here is where i think we must emulate these little ones.
they speak their hearts out. kids would say what's on their mind, which is oftentimes out of
line. and what i hope adulthood would achieve, is for this talk to be seasoned with maturity and civility. but oftentimes "adultishness" swallows us. we do not speak, we engage in psych-war, and worse, we masquerade our true emotions with poisonous friendliness which is just waiting to explode. i do not know what prompted us to become afraid of expressing ourselves. but this has oftentimes led to unnecessary strains in relationships.they focus in the current situation. they say when people become hysterical, they usually become historical. true. adults seldom fight compared to kids, but when we do, we're sure to open a can of worms! some are related, but more often than not, it just makes the situation worse!
they recognize the 'reconciling' authority. even if kids go out of hand in their expression of anger, kids usually quiet down when the authority is mediating them already. we adults usually lose this perspective of authority, usually jaded, and we even question the impartiality. that's how "adultish" we are.
it is finished when it is finished. when it is my turn to end the quarrel talk with our kids, i am amazed at how they instantly pick up from where they left off before the fight. i admire that. unfortunately, experience has somehow eroded that ability, which gives birth to the dangerous 'vengeance'-- either in small ways or big ways.
i've dealt with so many of these adultishness, both mine and others. i've been in the midst of these misunderstandings too. and i can't stop myself sometimes from saying "how adultish!" oh, how we love to complicate things...
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