Touchdown

the Emirates flight was 8-hours long... have finished two movies already, and ate two meals... finished reading all the readables, and watching the watchables! finally, after traversing the west asian countries, and when the captain crew instructed us to fasten our seatbelts, straighten our chairs and open our windows, it means i am close to home...

so when i landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, my lips broke into a big smile. the almost dilapidated tube and warm-moist air did not dampen my spirit. walking past a folk band playing songs welcoming the 'balikbayans' and some christmas carols completed my arrival mood. then, as expected, many flock to the cholocate store just before immigration -- a Pinoy trademark that expresses our endearment to 'pasalubong' for loved ones. the long line at the immigration was itching my feet further to go out of the airport and see my welcoming team ;) even if the officers were not that friendly, going past thru them and the tedious waiting at the baggage belt, boosts my adrenaline rush.

it's not as if this is my first time to come home. twice a year, i get the privilege of going back to my beloved country, and yet, however often it is, touchdown never loses its magic spell in me!

with three luggages on tow, i walk down to the waiting area under the letter "I". I gave AED 10 to the baggage boy who helped me (I just hope dirhams mean somehting here as I do not have peso or dollar). Just simultaneosly, i see small and big hands waving at the crowded non-passengers waiting area-- that of my mom and my niece! i rushed to them and gave my mom, my dad, my niece Shaira and my nephew Cedrik (who fell asleep waiting for me for two hours under the Manila heat!) a big bear hug!

three days after, i went to Shaira's school to get her card. Teacher Des showed me Shaira's diary last Nov 18. and there, she wrote "Masayang masaya ako kasi sinundo namin si Tita sa airport. Tapos malungkot nako nng umuwi na kami" (I am very happy because we fetched Tita at the airport, but I am sad when we left). I don't know exactly what she meant by the latter, but all i know is that every touchdown is a joyous ocassion for many families...

“Whatsoever things are true… think on these things.” Philipians 4:8

One great thing that separates us humans from animals is that we think. Having exercised this God-given privilege for decades now has taught me that it is a two-edged sword: it enriches you, and yet it can destroy you. It is a cliché to say that “it depends on how you use it”, but more often than not, we do not know how, specially when it comes to thinking on emotional aspects of our life. Such a short physical distance between the heart and the brain, yet time and again we have proven that it is as far as the east is from the west.

We have been guilty of playing mind-games with people and second-guessing their motives. It is all too easy to wonder about what a person isn’t saying and to try to read between the lines. We often come up with creative explanations for people’s actions and draw conclusions, and more often than not, this has led to paranoia, stunted relationships, useless anger, and worse, strained relationships.

How many times have you seemingly stopped living because you feared something, which hasn’t come yet? How many times have you hurt someone because “you thought” she was also angry with you? How many times have you passed up an opportunity to be a friend simply because he has not responded back to you and “you thought” he does not give a damn to your friendship? How many times have you misread your spouse, only to find out the fool you’ve made of yourself when he explained his side? How many more supposedly wonderful moments should you miss, just because “you thought” otherwise…?

Have you noticed that we didn’t have this complex when we were kids? It was so easy to take things at face value? When Dad says he will be home, we believe that he will be home no matter what. When Mom says we are her princess, we believe so and tell the world about it! Gullible or what, it has its own merit, and that is—less worries… which, adults are prospered with! Maybe time and experience has eroded our faith in human intentions… but may it never erode our faith in Him.

Reading and understanding the verse seemed like a fresh flow of wave across my face, washing away all the speculations and fear from my mind! “Whatever is true…” and not the unclear message between the lines… “Whatever is true…” and not the unclear body actions. “Whatever is true ONLY...” and not the additional stories that we create… This liberated me from my daily struggle with my mind- whether at home, or at work, or at play! And my accessory prayer in cases when wrong thoughts haunt me… “Lord, whatever things I do not know of, lead me to the truth… but in the meantime, let me enjoy the truth which you have permitted to show me, and your PRESENT”.

Letter to the Young People

when a friend asked me to help her persuade the other young people into joining our church's singles conference, i did not hesitate. i would have loved to attend it, if not for my delayed flight! here's an excerpt of my letter to her:



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hey guys! greetings from across the miles...i would have wanted to attend the singles camp and meet some of you, who by the natural law of ageing has been elevated to this generation ;) but i am sorry i can't...

so are you looking forward to it? or you're still stuck in the cutesy youth camp? remember, singles camp is not just 'looking for your better-half' as many subconsciusly think it is, so they refuse to be called as such. finding your GB is just an icing on the cake! so, don't undestimate this God given stage in life ;)

so what else is there in singlehood????? singlehood is an advancement from the youth stage ...it is the time when you take in meat, rather than milk... it is when we are older and wiser to make a difference in this world as a christian... it is a stage wherein we are given the opportunity to serve more, rather than being served... it is the time for some when we have more resources to be used for his kingdom... it is a time when real and stronger tests are given by the enemies...and more importantly, it is the time when we take over the duties left by those who have chosen to take the path of marriage...

if youth is a state sandwiched between childhood and singlehood... singlehood is sandwiched between youth and marriage.... so accept the fact that people relate singlehood to "looking-for-my-GB" as this is the next natural state that people pray for us... so don't be gun-shy at the expense of losing the important teachings such as during camp!

embrace all the responsibilites and privileges that goes with being a single...and also, be armed with all the things you need to know as a single in this SCHEMING world! there's much to know which i have learned from the past 3 camps that i've attended that made me a better, more grounded and a happier single!

Evening with Friends

it all started when Manoleth gave us a CD of season 1. i am not much into watching TVs or series for that matter. i am more of a channel surfer, and i don't like being tied down for sitcoms which keeps unfinished endings... but this one really hooked me! and the good thing is, it is on DVD so i can choose when to end! haha! the bad side is, this gives me bad mornings from sleepless nights of marathons! got to tell you this is my first addiction after TGIS!

season 1 was so nice, so young, so witty, so funny that i went on to season 2. and season 2 is kinda developing the plots of the rachel-ross thing, and building up the characters. that brings me to season 3... and before i knew it, i've been finding my way thru the hypermarket for the next season! whew!

aside from the comic relief it gives me, it reminds me about many episodes of my life! it's like "hey, i've been there!". i buy a lot of phoebe's weird but insightful ideas! ross' sweetness to monica is something that reminds me of my brothers. but chandler's commitment-phobia just nailed down what i have long-ago known about guys. monica's obsessive compulsive thingy freaks me out sometimes! joey's low IQ antics used to tickle me, but it gets somehow irritiating in the long run. and rachel's practicality as a friend sometimes turns me off.

above are just some random comments i have for the characters. but to the story, i am all sold into it! well, not all, but some. i am not comfy with how easy they plunge in and out of a relationship! i am not cool with a lot of pre-marital sex things...

but here are the reasons why i love Friends... (1) they show me in a third-person point of view that friends will never be perfect, they will have their own 'charaters'. so just shrug off deficiencies and don't make issues out of mole hills. i like the way they show how forgiving ang forgetting can be a great glue for friendships. (2) they showed me that friendship built over the years should not be broken because of a guy or a girl. in hindsight, it is true! (3) they showed me that being cool, and a lot of good laugh will make you look younger and your friendship thicker! (4) they showed me that relationships have their seasons in your life... some will come, and some will go. and lastly (5) they showed me that friends are so rare, so take care of what you have! we will come to a point where we are so set with our ways and our circle of friends, that nurturing new ones will be a lot harder...

season 9 had its awkward episodes, and i really hate the joey-rachel part 2... but then again, there are 12 pool of brilliant writers who had made me happy for the last 3 months, so this one is forgivable! last night, i'm glad at how things worked out in the ending. we've been together for the past 3 months, and glad that ross and rachel got together!

hmmm, so what's next???

Single Ratios and Proportions

in one of my dinners with other friends, both guys and gals, singles and married, we had this interesting discussion on why there are so many single ladies in the philippines... i came up with a theory.

population-wise, there is a ratio of 4 guys to 6 ladies. among the 6 ladies, 2 are married and 4 are single. among the 4 guys, one is married, one is gay, one is partner of the gay, and one is single. so, do your math! that means, for every single guy, there are 4 single ladies. and now, with the emergence of the 'demi moores', the once-married ladies are now going after the 1 single guy, against all the 4 eligible ladies! wow, slim chance! haha!

but this does not bug me, as one of my good guy friend told me once, "it is not on the ratios nor proportions, but on our God who designs everything!" amen to that! he is not just being a little theological about it, but being realistic actually. single guys and gals are not statistics, but human beings with emotions to consider for their choices of a lifetime partner.


in so many ways, being single here i guess is more blessed against our counterparts in countries where arranged-marriages is the order of the day for those who has stepped on their 20s! when you are female at 25 and still single, it is already a real curse, and so the parents of the ladies need to knock on the doors of the parents of the single guys and may even line up with the other 'applicants'. but this is not 'weird' for them, but a part and parcel of their culture.

therefore, in the end, i think i will also debunk my own theory! the ratios and proportions theory is just a comical and easy way of looking at my situation. as they say, it doesnt hurt to put humor on yourself sometimes...

Splitsville

here i go again... reading another 'strong' hollywood couple heading to splitsville! when kate hudson and hubby split a few months ago, i was squashed. and now, reese witherspoon and hubby ryan, when just last week i read how they've remained loving as ever thru the years. these are not your regular couples who just do things to fill in a controversy page. so why do they tear apart? why is the world full of unencouraging stories for singles like me?

even among the lesser mortals like my league, splits are as many, as real, but less public, but extent of damage can be of the same intensity. i just realized, reasons have gone awry and surprisingly creative in recent years! the new lifestyle has given birth to 'i need to focus on my career', 'i want to explore more', 'i can't imagine getting tied down to a single partner', 'we need to see others to test if we are really for each other', and all other shity stuff. and no more have i seen very brittle relationships than now, with break up catalysts ranging from as simple as an ordinary argument, to lack of time with each other, to fizzling out of excitement to as worse as the appearance of the ugly third party! where are the winners of the test of time, test of trials and temptations? are they so rare in this generation?


i have known some to have even bannered what they did and called it the freedom of the century-- being able to walk out of a ruining relationship. they say breaking up are more common now adays because women are more aware of their rights, and have ceased suffering in silence. some men, on the other hand have welcomed this as it means more partners in a short lifetime! how twisted! it has made jumping into and out of a relationship such a walk in the park! to some, split ups are such a mastered craft!


however it is easy for some, we have to accept the fact that in every break up, there is always pain. and to mask the pain, some couples even go to the extent of stating an 'amicable' separation, only to start public betrayals months after. it is such a sad story of a love gone sour... and worse, gone bitter...


so in the end, when couples split, is it a story of regret, or a story of freedom?

my antidote to the emphatic sadness i feel whenever i learn of couples splitting, are the few couples i personally know who have gone against the tides of the times. they unwaveringly give me back my faith in love. as for me, relationships will always be a jewel left untarnished, as how God wanted it to be. so jumping into it takes time, effort and lots of thinking.... because i am terrified of even the tell-tale signs of splitsville!