Flashback

it happened while i was driving to work this morning. scenes of my last year plans flashed back in my mind. normally that excites me. but now, it rubbed more strongly and painfully that many of those plans are now useless--- with the absence of my Tatay (dad). in between tears, i continued driving while my mind was busy rewinding...

last year, i planned on having a vacation in Boracay in April 08 with Nanay and Tatay, so that Tatay would be able to see the beauty of one of the most pristine beaches in the world. i'm sure he'd hesitate coz he'll think of the cost, but he'll give in to my charms. but now i am thinking of foregoing it for now...

last year, i bough a land in his home province in Quezon sold for a very cheap price, which really thrilled him! he has been talking to a lawyer for the documentation, even until 2 days before he passed away. he would have loved going to Quezon every now and then, making use of the land for coconut plantation or whatever he wished to do with it. but now i am thinking of just re-selling it...

last year, i planned on building a mini-studio for his paintings atop our garage where he could freely enjoy looking at his works of art. and yes, friends too when they pay us a visit. but now, i am thinking of revising that plan...

and the one very thing that brought me to sobbing was this:

last year, more than once did he ask Nanay when i'd finally have a BF... maybe he would already like to meet and know that someone he'd send off his daughter to; that someone who'd take care of me, instead of him....

and if the Lord wills, Tatay wouldn't be able to meet him anymore... and sadly, he will not be able to walk his only girl down the aisle... deep inside i know he's been waiting for that...


it took me a few more minutes after i parked to compose myself. by God's grace, things will be ok. i walked again to our office to face another day, trusting in Him that soon He will wipe my tears away...


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Prov 19:21 "Many plans are in a man's heart,But the counsel of the LORD will stand.

2 Cor 1:3-5 " Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."